letting go of convenience

The definition of convenient involves the phrase, "involving little trouble or effort." You know what's not convenient? Serving others. To take another family a meal means you are either sacrificing a hearty meal for your own family or you are cooking two meals- one for your own & one for them. 

Another definition of the word convenient reads, "fitting in well with a person's plans." You know what's not convenient? A doctor sitting you down with devastating news that can potentially alter the rest of your life.

Tonight we were on the giving side of this which fills me with gratitude on so many levels-- thankful we were able & thankful to not be on the receiving end, in the midst of hard times. I'm not boasting in us giving a meal to a precious family but have felt urged to share how profound it is to be on the either end of this- the letting go of convenience. 

When a loved one is in the trenches I urge you to show up. Just show up. 

If you can't afford to take a meal or pay a bill, show up. Sit with them. Pray with them. Ask how they are doing & just sit. Just sit & listen.  

For the love of all things good in the world, do not send this text: "let me know if you need anything!" Wanna know why? When you are drenched in grief & aching you have NO idea what you need. Make real offers. 

Here are a few ideas:

Can I bring you dinner? Take your kids to the park? Clean your house? Take out your trash? Organize your fridge? Help you sort through medical bills? Bring a movie over to watch? Mow your lawn? 

Make practical offers & when they decline because of pride or not wanting to be a burden (they probably will), keep asking. Set a reminder on your phone to ask weekly. 

It doesn't matter if you live in the same city or states away. We had a sweet friend send gift cards to go out to eat at places because she couldn't bring us a meal after one of my surgeries. Certain places will also allow you to order food & deliver from states away. 

It's true that in hard times you learn who your friends are.... sadly. And it's true that a person's silence speaks loudly. 

We were super blessed by an outpouring of love in 2015 & 2016 which both held really unique & intense challenges for us. We also felt the sting of loneliness & hurt as people didn't just show up. I can count on one hand the number of times a friend came & just sat with me when I was on bed rest for weeks at a time & that count includes Josh's mom & my mom. 

And that hurt, to be very candid. 

I share this not to toot our horn or to sulk but to hopefully share how your intentionality with your words, efforts, actions, & willingness to be inconvenienced can truly be LIGHT in darkness. 

Because, want to know one more thing? Everyone is busy. That can always be an excuse. But here's the thing, you choose that. You choose what's important to you. When you say yes to one thing you're essentially saying no to another. 

I pray we have the courage & faith to always choose the route of inconvenience for the sake of giving love.... the sake of telling a hurting family, "you matter & i care. i love you, because Jesus first loved me."