growing saige malyn

Yesterday we reached 28 weeks of growing our baby girl, Saige Malyn! That's the third trimester door swinging open…wahoo! (And, I say "we" because while I am physically carrying this girl, my husband is amazing at being my support emotionally & spiritually through this. Keeping me healthy keeps her healthy, you know? So, he is totally carrying this baby, too. I am so grateful & constantly blown away by his graciousness for my mood swings, tears, & irrationality. Go, husband!)

Back in November we started talking about trying for baby number two. Beginning of January, God blessed our desires & began knitting together our little girl. (Tears are now streaming just typing that out. How amazing.) I took a test at the beginning of February, just knowing I was pregnant, & it was negative.  I waited two more weeks & took another, & on Valentine's Day the test came out positive!! I gave it to Josh as his gift (we never do gifts on Valentine's Day).  I mean, who doesn't love a stick with pee on it for Valentine's Day? Sounds super personal, vulnerable, & special to me. 

We basked in this wonderful news. Cried, laughed, & hugged a lot! Then sent this out to our family: 

(I know. Not super cute or anything, but I am terrible with secrets & wanted to share ASAP.)

From the very start, everything with this pregnancy is just night & day than it was with Asher's. Sometimes I feel guilty about that. We were definitely excited when we found out about being pregnant with Ash; but, we were newlyweds, who had met 8 months prior, in-between jobs, & living in an RV that was falling apart.  Pregnancy sickness & depression owned me.

  This time… every moment has just been pure joy & excitement. There isn't fear, doubt, or regret seeping in all parts.  Don't get me wrong-- I feel SO blessed to of grown our son. I am SO, so, so, so utterly blessed by the precious gift he is absolutely is. His name means "happy blessing" because we knew from day one he was/is & spoke that over him.  It was just hard. And scary. And felt extremely lonely. And. It's okay for me to say that. 

That being said, I am loving loving this pregnancy.  Sickness has not been consuming, depression has not been an issue, loneliness is far away, & my husband & I actually have a foundation under us/between us that is such strength in the challenge of it. It's not that we weren't a team during Asher's pregnancy & birth, it was that we were still getting to know each other-- the little things… like, how he does the dishes, what "rest" is to one another, sex, morning routines, finances, how to be gracious in bad moments, etc.  Even thinking back to those days & some very ugly moments, my stomach sinks & tears sting my eyes… it was all so overwhelming. 

Back to Saige, since this post is about her. I guess I am just really wanting to highlight that just because one pregnancy is really hard & feels defeating, it doesn't mean all of your pregnancies are doomed to be that way! And. Well. If they are… God is good in that. That sounds cliche. But, oh how true it is. Asher Bryant is not a reflection AT ALL of how hard those months were. At all. He is anything but.  He makes beautiful things, yeah? He does.

Another fun factor during this pregnancy has been SO many of my friends are also growing babes!  I literally lost count when there were more than 15.

Here are two of the lovelies who are baby-growing. My "twin-in-law" & sister-in-law, who are both a month ahead of me. (Yes, their due dates are days apart. No, it wasn't planned. Yes, it is SO exciting!) 

It has been fun sharing pregnancies woes, struggles, & laughs with all the friends that are pregnant. I cannot wait to meet all of these sweet growing gifts! It's just encouraging. This has helped SO much with the loneliness factor that felt unbearable last time around. 

 Sharing these months of growing a baby with so many friends has truly been one of my favorite parts-- so, thanks to all of you who have been sharing in that. (((In fact, one friend birthed a baby just a few hours ago! Baby Flynn, you have been prayed for SO much!!!)))

Another exciting part was finding out baby growing is a little GIRL! 

We had decided boy or girl the name would be Sage/Saige. Sage means "wise one"-- what a powerful thing to speak over & pray over your child & call out of them!  

Her aunt's names are Samantha Lynn, Tara Marie, & Maggie Lynn. So, put all those middle names together & you get Malyn. (Pronounced MAH-lin. Not MAL-in.) These three women are some of my favorites on this entire planet, with hearts passionate about Jesus. Who better to name her after than women chasing, loving, serving, & honoring God? 

The name "Malyn" means "little warrior" which is neat because the name "Kelly" means "brave warrior." Our wise, little warrior. :) 

My Mom & Grandmother came to visit last week & my mom bought me a sewing machine so I could begin making little dresses for Saige. My Mom made all her own clothes growing up & made some for me, as well.  She is an amazing seamstress & I loved learning some basics! Fabric & patterns are way expensive. Truly just makes more sense to buy clothes at Target. SO, I am bound & determined to make her clothes out of scraps I find-- from thrift stores, antique shops, or from clothes we no longer wear. We shall see!  It's been addicting so far looking up ideas & spending hours behind my little machine. :) 

Besides the gift of pregnancy & feeling well throughout it has been the gift of remaining active-- or, the desire to!  We spend time out on the trails, walking around town, going to the gym, & some exercising at home-- all things I rarely never did with Ash. There was no motivation or desire. I hated not running because it's always been an outlet, but there was no….desire (aka, depression). SO! I have LOVED remaining pretty active. No doubt that is better for labor & pregnancy overall. 

(At our first appointment with Michelle Ray; Asher listening to Saige's strong heartbeat.) 

Another gift has been the midwife we have found here in Chattanooga (well, she actually lives on a farm in Georgia, about 25 minutes from us. how epic is that?!). Our birth team with Asher was a dream. To go through something SO personal, it's hard to imagine doing it with anyone other than those ladies! It was so special.  

BUT, we have found someone who is filling those large shoes beautifully.  Not only is she caring for us throughout this pregnancy, but there is a light in this woman that inspires me to give, give, & give some more, in the name of Jesus' strength, joy, & love. She hasn't been dealt the easiest hand, but you would never know that upon meeting her. Joy & strength ooze out of her every word. Truly, a woman being the hands & feet of Jesus. Josh & I are SO grateful to of found her! 

So, in a super-jam-packed-rambly-too much-not enough nutshell- that is where we are in the life of our Saige girl. 

Blessed. Humbled. Grateful. Excited. Eager. 

Saige Malyn, you rarely stop moving. You are already a constant reminder that God is at work, doing mighty & beautiful & powerful things.  We are so thrilled to call you our daughter & cannot wait to hold you, kiss you, hear your cries, smell you, & see the handprints of our God covering you. You are so loved.